Wednesday, June 15, 2011

When Life Gives You Lemons....Sweet!

I had the luxury of taking a 45 minute bike ride today.  My thoughts drifted quickly to lemons because my heart skipped a beat when I saw lemons in an ad today.  Why do I like lemons?  I craved lemon flavored everything when I was pregnant with my first baby.  I used to spend my change on Lemon Heads at the baseball park and 7-11 when I was a kid.  I remember sucking on Lemon Drops on vacation at my Grandma Smith's in Iowa and during show choir competitions in high school.  My grade school BFF and I ate lemon soft serve ice cream cones in the back of her dad's truck.  It would drip across our cheeks as we rode out into Stinesville to the old bridge.  Grandma Smith had a sunshiney lemon yellow bathroom that was so bright and happy.  I have lemons on my fireplace mantle.  Both of my babies love sucking on lemons and who doesn't love a baby pucker face? 

I'll close with a scene from my tied-for-favorite (with Sweet Home Alabama) movie The Break Up: 
Brooke:  Oh, come on! Really? You got three lemons. Gary:  What my baby wants, my baby gets. You know that.
Brooke:   Yeah, but I wanted 12. Baby wanted 12.
Gary:  Why would you want 12 lemons?
Brooke:   Because I'm making a 12-lemon centerpiece.
Gary: So, no one's actually even eating them? They're just show lemons?
Brooke:   Yeah. They're just show lemons. Shown in the center of the table.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Sling Love

     In my last post I mentioned that I dished out a boat load of money to take care of my hip problem only to realize (on my own- for free) that carrying my son around the house, yard, neighborhood, and grocery store is what is causing my body to get out of whack.  Now that school is out and I am home with my kids again I have been dreading carrying him around all day long again.  After my sister showed up to Jack's birthday party with her itty bitty baby in a pouch sling I exclaimed, "I can make that!"  I'm tellin' ya.  All you need to know is how to thread your machine and sew a straight line and there are a lot of fancy things you can make.  It is also helpful if you know how to use Google and YouTube!  Anyway I toiled away at the sewing machine tonight while fantasizing about even weight distribution and someday being able to go for a jog without worry.  I am so excited to try it out tomorrow when JBear wakes up.  I am wearing it right now actually!
While I have the sewing machine out I am going to make a corduroy popsicle holder (no chilly fingers in THIS house anymore!).  Woohoo we're getting crazy tonight!
Here is a link to the video tutorial I used for the sling.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

'Member me?

Well, I haven't posted in a long time.  It's time to purge the "maybe I should blog about that" file folder in my brain.  In no particular order, here are some recurring thoughts that are officially going in the circular file. 

I know that I am approaching 30 because I have to stretch in the mornings.  Not to exercise, just to be.

I spent a lot of money on physical therapy and a sports medicine orthopedist but symptoms of my IT Band Syndrome are only significantly improving now that I am back at work and I am not holding a baby on the hip all day.

The other day I told someone at my new job that "My husband's birthday was this weekend so he got all of my goodies" and no one said "That's what she said."  I don't know them that well but I hope they were at least thinking it but didn't say it.  For the record I was talking about why I brought store bought cookies instead of homemade cookies for the assistants. 

Teaching for 3 weeks of the school year doesn't sound like very long but when you add that it's the end of the year with someone else's class and you put field day at the beginning of that block of time it seems like much much longer.  Much longer.  3 days to go! 

 I sneezed every day when I read to my students until we started noticing.  Now I haven't sneezed since.  Huh.

One of my neighbors waits until after 9 to mow.  There are not enough box fans in my home to muffle that sound.

One thing that is cool about working the last three weeks of school besides a paycheck is that I will enjoy my coffee and blog mornings that much more this summer. 

I love reading craft blogs because sometimes I run across a real jem that I have to copy.  But almost most of the time I say, "I could buy that cheaper at the dollar store but would choose not to." 

Life with two kids who sit at the table and eat their meals is WAY easier than having a 0 month old and 20 month old.  I didn't realize how accomplished I would feel just for making it to this stage without making a stop at the loony bin. 

That's all!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Over it

I am so over nursing my baby.  That's all.
Wait, also, I feel a little guilty about that. 

I lied, there's even more.  To justify my feelings I should tell you that it's been since 2007 that I haven't been pregnant or nursing.  2007.  Let that sink in. 

We've started the weaning process and I can see the margarita at the end of the tunnel. 

Friday, April 15, 2011

I ♥ Tina Fey

I just had to share this Mother's Prayer written by Tina Fey:

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered,
May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half
And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the nearby subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock N’ Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.

Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.
Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long,
For Childhood is short- a Tiger Flower blooming
Magenta for one day-
And Adulthood is long and Dry-Humping in Cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever,
That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers
And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister,
Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends,
For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord,
That I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 a.m., all-at-once exhausted,
bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.
“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck.
“My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental note to call me. And she will forget.
But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.


Sunday, April 10, 2011

Pizza Pasta Bake

Tonight we had our 3rd freezer meal.  I mislabeled the package and didn't write that I should thaw in the fridge during the day and just cooked it from frozen.  I had to keep it in the oven 15-20 minutes longer but it was still delicious.  I'm so happy because this is a new recipe for me! 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Honey Badger

This morning's coffee guzzling was sponsored by the Honey Badger from Africa.  My husband just had to share this video with me while I was already in bed last night.  Which led to a lengthy giggle-fest (don't tell him I called it that!) about what a badass the Honey Badger is.  We even had to call a friend who lives in Denver to continue a 5+ yearlong discussion about the fiercest animal in the animal kingdom.  Check it out for yourself.

Really?  Bee babies?  What a jerk!